There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
