Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
