You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
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In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize