she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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