There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
