Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
