You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
