ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
