Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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