Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
