She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm like, not good at living.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize