Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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