just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
