yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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