I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm just crazy horny about you
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
