We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize