I must be too annoying 4 u.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
