She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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