I wish my penis had an off switch
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
