Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
