i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
