I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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