So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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