I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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