What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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