Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
