this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
