he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
