I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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