she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
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And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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