He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
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I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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