this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
