I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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