So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize