You can't motorboat a personality
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
