the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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