I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
