he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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