hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
