he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
