Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What did we do last night that was yellow?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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