maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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