we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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