I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
