I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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