what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
