arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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