Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
