i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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