marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
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she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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