If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
