please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
