Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
