But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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