I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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