You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
