Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im holly from the hills drunk
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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