We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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