she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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